Wannabe Pride’s DON’T DESPAIR Self-Publishing Advice for Actual Human Beings



Have you ever read a parenting book by a so-called expert and you think to yourself – there’s no way this person actually has kids? Sometimes the advice is so unrealistic you want to throw the book down in disgust.

I find myself feeling that way about certain advice for self-published writers.

Look. Self-published writers are real people. We are real people with real jobs, real families, and we often have really limited budgets. Every day when I turn on the news I’m reminded that I am far from alone in feeling this economic crunch, and even talking to non-writer friends I’m reminded that we all feel time pressure when it comes to taking care of our families.

Let’s do a little reality check on some of the conventional advice that’s offered to self-published writers.


Reality check – Unless your last name is Gates, Kardashian, or you are otherwise anonymously yet fabulously wealthy, you’re likely working a 40-hour-workweek. Throw in a bad commute and your writing hands are tied up for most of your day – and most of your life. Maybe you don’t get a chance to write every day because you’re just plain exhausted from working so much and you really beat yourself up about it.

Wannabe Pride’s Don’t Despair Tip– You’re not a terrible person if you can’t write every day. Making enough money to put food on the table and a roof over your head is essential. Like it or not, that must come first. It’s only natural that, after working all day, it can be hard to squeeze in enough time to work on your dream. Keep in mind – that, too, is essential. It’s essential for your peace of mind to carve out any time, no matter how small, to keep your dream alive and to stave off the soul-suckingness of having to work so hard to make somebody else rich. Even if it’s 20 minutes, grab that time. You’ll feel so much better if you get something – ANYTHING – accomplished. It’s not a damn race. Focus on one book, one chapter, one sentence at a time. Eventually, there will be a book – YOUR book – where there were once blank pages.


Reality check- Have you become independently wealthy since you read the first tip? I didn’t think so. It costs MONEY to publish books, even eBooks. You have to scrape together the money for an editor, a cover artist, a formatter, and so forth. Personally, I find it endlessly frustrating – heartbreaking, really – to toil for months to finally complete a book, only to have to wait many months more because I simply do not have the money to publish it. Times are very, very tough right now. The reality is, my work ethic is much more robust than my bank account.

Wannabe Pride’s Don’t Despair Tip– It is true that the faster you publish multiple books, the faster a success you may become. But life just doesn’t always work that way. You may not be able to publish a whole pile of books quickly, even if they’re already written. It’s hard to be patient, but do try. And however tempting it may be, DON’T cut corners. You really do need to pay an editor and make sure you have a good, quality book cover. Otherwise, you’ll look like an amateur. You’ve worked far too hard for far too long to let that happen. You’ll get there eventually, and it will mean so much more because you did it the right way.


Reality Check- Like so many things in the self-publishing world, this is easier said than done. It is extremely difficult for a self-published author to break through, particularly when they only have one book out there in circulation. Promotion can include book bloggers (free) and advertising (still not independently wealthy here). There can be a high rejection rate for submissions to book bloggers due to the volume of requests they receive. Even if your book is accepted and reviewed, it’s debatable about how much good it will do you. Thus far, I’ve had three book bloggers give my book pretty good reviews, but it’s really had very little, if any, impact on my book sales. You can even get rejected for paid advertising! BookBub can be a wonderful resource with their paid email blasts which are sent directly to readers, but they accept only 20% of books submitted to them. So far, mine are not among them….

Wannabe Pride’s Don’t Despair Tip – Nobody can ever really predict which books will really take off and which ones won’t sell well. That goes for highly-publicized, traditionally-published books, too, so don’t despair if you really can’t get any high-profile publicity for your book.  Free publicity, including smaller book bloggers, reader reviews, and social media posts (Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Google+) all slowly but surely contribute to getting the word out about your work. Once again I say, it’s not a race. Just because it takes a long time to gather momentum and readers for your book doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen.

My best most heartfelt advice to other writers and to repeat to myself is DON’T GIVE UP. You can do it. I can do it. It’s hard to spend your days toiling for somebody else and it hurts when your bank account can’t keep up with all your hard work, heart, and perseverance. But you can and you will find a way to make it all work if being a writer is truly what you want.

Hang in there.

Find some way – ANY way – that works for you. As long as it results in you finishing that damn book and then sharing it with the world.

DO IT, and then be proud of the fact that it didn’t come easy, but you did it anyway.

-          Linda Fausnet



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On Doing Writerly Research : Ancient Greece

 Today Wannabe Pride welcomes author Kayla Jameth!

Kayla Jameth grew up on the family farm in Ohio. An unrepentant tomboy, she baled hay and raised cattle, and her father taught her to weld before she graduated from high school. She attended Cleveland’s Case Western Reserve University and later, Texas A&M University in her pursuit of veterinary medicine, taking her far away from her rural roots. But it wasn’t all hard work for her, her sojourn as the princess of the Celestial Kingdom left her with the title “Sir” and a costume closet the envy of many knights, lords, and ladies. After declaring for years that she was not an author, Kayla now finds herself writing m/m erotic romance outside of Houston, Texas. While you can take the girl out of the country, you can’t turn her into a city slicker. Kayla would still rather be outside getting down and dirty with the boys. She shares a full house with her favorite animals: a cat, two guinea pigs, a gerbil, three guppies, as well as her husband, son, and daughter.

Probably the single most common question I’m asked is: What made you write about ancient Greece? In college, I minored in Classical History, but my love of the ancient goes back even further than that. As a child, I enjoyed the sermons about the historical figures in the Bible and this translated into an interest in the civilizations of the past. The more mysterious the better.

I am probably one of the few people who have owned a copy of Bulfinch’s Mythology since their early teens. I read about Paris and the beauty contest between Hera, Athena and Aphrodite, and counted him a fool for his choice. Athena made the best offer to my way of thinking. 

Judgment of Paris

I didn’t limit myself to the Greco-Roman myths. Egyptian and Norse epics were fair game as well. And more recently, Babylonian tales have made their appearance. There was something magical in listening to my professor read the Iliad in the language it was written, his voice ringing with the power of the words.

I also still love fairy tales, which are more or less an extension of the tradition of mythic tales. Because of this, I have a pretty firm base on which to build my world. My Apollo’s Men series takes place in the world that the ancient Greeks believed they lived in. A world
not unlike the epic tales that Homer spoke of, filled with deities and daemons (any of the lesser beings,NOT demons).


In researching the details that bring my world to life, Google is my friend. I often start with Wikipedia for basic details and to find other terms to explore. Google books will give you a look inside many scholarly works. Plus excerpts or even the full text of scholarly journal articles can be accessed through several sites.

There are numerous ancient Greek and Spartan reenactment societies that are also great resources. Anything from how to make your own authentic gear to what to expect an ancient Greek to own. And more importantly, what he wouldn’t have. I also use an online etymology site to see if a word is suitably ancient or can trace its roots back to a Greek word before I use it in the document. There are days when I wish I could use any word I wanted, but I can’t use things like “piece de resistance”. And just try to come up with the equivalent to “shit” and “damn” etc. without using the same old tired “By Zeus!” It’s especially frustrating as the Greeks would have actually said the Greek word for some of it, but the readers act like cussing is a modern construct. There’s nothing new under the sun. Some of the contemporaneous comedies were especially vulgar: lots of potty humor and scandalous discussions of sex in the crassest words imaginable.

Unfortunately, I can’t always find a source for certain details. Some things were just too commonplace for any of the ancient authors to waste time on. Even archeology sometimes lets me down. If I can’t find proof of something, I either find a way around it or go with what was common in that time and general locale.

Sparta has been a particular challenge, as the city-state often refused to conform with the other Greek poleis. In addition, the Spartans were laconic by definition and only committed to writing the really important stuff, leaving everything else unsaid. This is further complicated by all the bad press Sparta received from the city-states that were in conflict with her, especially the Athenians who were very vocal.

So writing about that era has been a challenge, but one I have thoroughly enjoyed.

The Apollo’s Men series:

Body Language(free download on Smashwords)

Body Language

Alexios’ Fate

Alexos Fate

496 BC (in the Lust in Time anthology)



A Spartan Love

A Spartan Love


Writer Seeks Beta Reader for a Long-Term Relationship

sandwichI’m looking for a compatible beta reader for a long-term and mutually beneficial relationship. My ideal beta reader, in addition to enjoying long walks on the beach, should be someone who is:

  1. Honest. I really do want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth when it comes to your critique. Will you tell me what works? What doesn’t? Are my characters well-developed? Do they have unique voices or do they all sound the same? Does the plot make sense or is it too far-fetched? Grammatical corrections are welcomed, but not critical. At this beta stage, I’m more focused on the story as a whole.

  2. Respectful and Kind. Instead of saying “Oh my God, you’ve already said this so many times I wanted to put an ice pick through my forehead,” a simple “you’ve already mentioned this a few times” or just “repetitive” will do nicely.

  3. Serious about the craft. Ideally, you’ve already written a few novels or at least have a fairly regular writing schedule. There are a lot of people who want to be writers, but kind of crap out when the going gets tough.

  4. A fan of romance novels, as well as chick lit and other more light-hearted works. If you tend to write serious, hard-hitting literature, you probably won’t be a good fit to critique my writing. I also write lots of LGBT characters, so if you’re prejudiced in any way, you can hit the road.

  5. Able to stick to a reasonable turnaround time. I tend to seek critiques once I’ve finished the first full draft of a novel, rather than a few chapters at a time. I figure a month to read the full novel is fairly reasonable.

In return, I can offer, free to a good home, a critique partner who:

6.  Is all of the above things, and really wants to help other writers succeed.

If you’re interested, please contact me at lindafausnet@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

How to Create Your Social Marketing Strategy (for writers)

Chris Weber“Marketing is so haaaard.” is the collective whine of so many grown-ups that have chosen the unfortunate career of author.

Here’s the deal, people. You’re thinking about it all wrong. Marketing isn’t something you do to sell your book. It’s not a pain in the butt that takes away from your writing time. Marketing is writing, and you’re a writer.

It’s an opportunity to practice your craft, just in a different format. As Hemingway said, “There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” If you’re marketing is failing, chances are you’re not bleeding quite enough outside the pages of your book.

So here’s the deal. Stop “marketing your book” and start connecting with your readers. Write non-book content that people will enjoy reading. Do a podcast or video posts that invite new and old readers alike into your world. True fans are the ones who like you and your outlook on the world. It’s great to sell books in a blitz, but not at the expense of true audience building.

Case in point: John Green didn’t grow his fan base by posting on Twitter that his book was for sale. He did it by keeping a video blog with his brother for years. It was something he clearly loved doing, and a lot of other people loved it too. The videos weren’t promotional material, but he sold a whole lot of books because of them.

So let’s talk nuts and bolts on how to get that strategy in order. This is where a little bit of time being business-y goes a long way. So make a few decisions, make a list or two, and stick to them. The categories outlined below should get you started:

How often:

Decide how often you’re going to post and write it down. This is a schedule for every single day, all year, not just the day before your book comes out. Remember, don’t market your book, connect with your readers.

A good basic schedule is:

  • 5 short posts on social media every day
  • 1 blog post a week
  • 1 toss-up (this can be a video, a guest post, a short story, a piece of fan fiction…whatever your heart desires)

Social: give it 30-45 minutes a day. Post 1 or 2 things of your own, and use the other 3 posts to share things from your community.

Blog: One post a week can do wonders for your sales. It keeps you top-of-mind with your readers, and gives you something to talk about on your social networks.

A note on blogging: A blog to help your book sales needs to be focused on your readers, not other authors, so while it’s great to share tips and personal writing experiences, make sure that you’re also writing about the things that you personally love, and that you write about. At AuthorRise, we call this “complimentary content.” If you’re a romance novelist, this could look like writing about your views on modern romance, love, etc. If you’re a non-fiction writer, it’s even easier, just share your research and process. Simple!

Toss-up: Treat it like a blog post, do something once a week or once every other week. This is your chance to explore new mediums, help out fellow authors, and take risks with your writing that you wouldn’t take in a book.

What channels

Which channels you use will depend on your experience, your subject matter, and your personality. The important thing is to make a conscious decision and stick to it. So, what’s your combination?

Ideally, you’re working with a subset of:

  • social media
  • personal website
  • podcasting
  • video,
  • in-person work

If you’re just getting started, pick two: a few social media outlets, and your blog. Why do you need to pick your channels and stick to them? Because if you’re jumping from Facebook to Twitter to Pinterest every week, or giving up on something too quickly, chances are you didn’t give it enough time to learn the ropes, grow your audience, and evaluate your progress. Before you switch from podcasting to Youtube videos, give it at least six months of focused effort.

Picking your content categories

This is a big one, and a tough one. If you want to create great non-book writing, you need to pick a few things that you’re going to write about. These are 3-5 big topics that form the foundation of all of your marketing. It’s important enough that if you can, write them down really big on a piece of paper, and put it up by your desk.

So what’s a content category? It’s a deep well of content that resonates with you personally, is appealing to your readers, and is something you can keep coming back to rather than having to decide every day “what am I going to write about?”

An example will help here: Say you write historical adventure novels. Your categories might be:

  • Interesting tidbits and facts picked up in research
  • True stories of real-life adventurers
  • Profiles of modern-day adventurers

These three categories alone should provide enough material for at least a year of blogging, and most importantly, are just the kind of thing that readers love when they need something quick to read.


Finally we come to tracking. This one’s the most business-y of them all, but it’s also one of the most important. Set a few simple goals for yourself, and then keep track of how well you’re meeting them. If you don’t honestly measure your performance, how can you hope to improve?

Three basic goals that we always encourage with our members at AuthorRise are “posts per day,” “audience growth per week,” and “reader engagement.” (reader engagement is a measure of how many of your posts your readers are re-sharing or commenting on)

These three basic stats are easy to track and help you stay committed to doing a little bit every day rather than a big push at the last moment. And if you’re looking for a place to track all of that in one place, I can’t help but shamelessly plug my company AuthorRise!

Rinse and Repeat

Phew! We covered a lot of ground in a little space here, but the overall message is a simple one. Putting together a strategy for how you’ll grow takes a little bit of work, but doing the work to meet those goals every day adds up, just like your back-catalog. So keep at it, think long-term, and get busy!

Chris Weber, CEO, AuthorRise



When Words Fail a Writer

Today Wannabe Pride welcomes Guest Blogger Raven Oak, author of Amaskan’s Blood!

There aren’t words for why I write.

No, really. There aren’t. Staring at this blank page, with its 15…wait, now 17 words, I’m intimidated because I don’t believe in writer’s block.

If I’m staring at a blank page and can’t put one word after another, I use tricks to work my way around the mental hurdle.

Yesterday, I was asked a simple question, “Why do you write?”

There aren’t words to answer this. Actually, that’s wrong, too. It’s not that there aren’t words–I mean, these are words–it’s just that there aren’t words to describe it. Words that would give it justice.

My three-year-old self was shy and quiet—that is, until I met my extended family. Age five found words rushing from my mouth like a stampede of wildebeests with little regard for the developing brain behind them. I knew better than to prattle ad-nauseam around my over-worked father, but if you plopped me down in a room full of people, I wouldn’t shut up.

I couldn’t shut up.

Sometimes I think that by trying to silence me, my father only exacerbated the issue. Like a flash flood, words poured forth. People’s laughter encouraged me to grow bolder with my storytelling. If I climbed a tree and stubbed my toe, by the end of the day, I’d climbed Mt. Rainier, stood five feet from the top before an eagle dive-bombed me and sent me stumbling head-over-end down the glacier until I had landed in the thick forests below with a broken leg. These elaborate tall-tales were the beginnings of my storytelling.

When I was seven, a neighbor asked the ever burning question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A writer,” I answered.

As I passed through childhood, the answer gained and lost a few friends, but one element never changed. I wanted to write.

Through most of elementary school, I would answer, “A writer, a teacher, and a musician.”

“Which one?” they’d ask.

“All three.”

In my teenage years, it simplified into a writer and musician. Three years of intense collegiate music school morphed the answer yet again.

Music wasn’t lucrative, so I became a teacher to pay my student loans. I enjoyed it, but twelve years later, I was no closer to my dreams of being a published author than before. While teaching four subjects, finding the time to write was nigh impossible. But I’m not a quitter, so I drove myself to exhaustion. Sixty hour work weeks were the norm. I nearly drowned in a twenty-one graduate hour semester in a mad dash for my master’s degree in computers.

They might as well have been pumping in the caffeine intravenously. And if that wasn’t enough, I decided I had to write. If I was going to make my way into the realm of professional writing, I needed a catalyst.

So I made a deal. Not with the devil, but worse—with myself.

If I could write an entire novel, from start to finish, then I was ready. I’d been a storyteller my entire life, but never before had I been a writer. Not really.

I was a hobbyist at best and a flirt at worst. Amidst the overtime and grad school, I planted my rear in the chair and focused. Thirty days later, I held a 90,000 word first draft to Amaskan’s Blood.

If I could write 90,000 words in a month that crazy, I could do anything.

But could I write for a living? Did I have the bravery to make the leap? The discipline to write every day, every month, every year? Or was this just another dabbling attempt?

I kept my deal. I quit teaching and moved across the country to Seattle to find out. For thirty years, I’d wished for this. The want—the need—the necessity never wavered and never changed.

I was born to write. I was born to tell stories. People cross through the city and set one foot in front of the other. I stand still in a crowded mass and embellish, spin, and elaborate on the stories moving through us all. I think about the future, the what-if, and the why. And when there are no words, I invent them.

At age five, they told me I could be anything. Even a writer.

And I believed them.

Contact info:

Raven Oak

Webpage: **  Twitter:  ** Facebook Author Page: ** Goodreads:

Links to purchase Amaskan’s Blood can be found on my site here:

Revising and Rewriting Your Manuscript – the Last Checklist You’ll Ever Need (until you find a better one)


Yes, you have to revise your manuscript. Many, many, many times. You can either accept that fact of life now or you can:

A. Send out (or self-publish) your first badly written, error-filled, dreck of a first draft and watch the bad reviews/rejection letters pour in and/or listen to the sound of crickets when professionals in the industry won’t even bother to dignify your hack of a manuscript with a response.

B. Give up now, deciding that becoming a fry cook on Venus would probably be easier than this whole writing thing.

If you’re still reading, that means you’re willing to do what it takes to be a real writer.
Hear it, learn it, live it.
Though hashing out a first draft of a novel is hard work, rewriting is truly what makes you a REAL writer. It separates you from the hacks. Anybody can write down a story, slap on a title, and rush to try to sell it. You’re better than that. You’re serious about your craft.
First drafts are often awful. That goes for New York Times bestselling authors and people who are just starting out. Rewriting is what makes any piece of writing great. No exceptions.
On the plus side, if you love writing, rewriting really can be fun. Stop rolling your eyes and making snarky comments. I promise, it’s not like when your math teacher told you that math can be fun. I don’t care if she did bring a pizza into class that one day. Fractions still suck. This is different. It’s really very rewarding to see your work get better and better. If you love your characters, think of rewriting as getting a chance to spend more time with them. Though going over each sentence, each paragraph, and each word a bunch of times can be exhausting, it’s a great feeling when you finally get it right. Trimming paragraphs, carefully selecting the right word, and developing that perfect line of dialogue will tighten your work and turn a rough draft into a piece of really great writing.
Do the work. It’s worth the effort.
If this sounds like too much work, do it anyway. If you still hate it, you can always quit writing and do the fry cook thing. The one thing you CAN’T do is get out of rewriting and revising your manuscript numerous times if you want to make it as a writer. Lots of wannabe writers choose to stay in denial about this fact for years before they finally give in to the truth and realize that, no matter how carefully they outline their story and characters ahead of time, rewriting is crucial to success as a writer. Lots of writers waste years of their precious time denying the necessity of rewriting their work. You’ll be way ahead of the curve if you skip those years and get right to work.
I said GET TO WORK!!
Checklist for Revising
** Wait at least two weeks after you finish a draft before you start revising.
** Read the whole novel from start to finish and record your gut reaction. Don’t censor yourself and try to be as honest as possible. Were there parts that bored you? Did a character get on your nerves or not seem fully fleshed out? Note what you think needs to be fixed but don’t try to fix it yet. Just jot down notes and keep reading.
** The next step is macro edits. You need to fix the big things. This can include fixing things in the plot that don’t make sense or are just not believable, strengthening the characters, and cutting parts of the novel that are redundant or just unnecessary. It helps to have a specific goal in mind for each rewrite. For example, for this first rewrite the goal is to strengthen the main character’s motivation. The next draft might be to fortify a specific relationship between two friends or maybe the goal is to add more suspense. The final revisions should be the ones where you really focus in on specific details like grammar and punctuation.
** Did you jump into the story right away or did you begin with lengthy description or boring exposition?
** Does your opening scene begin with a problem for the protagonist? Does it open *with* the protagonist? The story should almost always begin with the main character.
** Do we know what your characters are after and why? Remember that the more a character wants something, the more compelling the story will be.
** If at all possible, provide at least a hint of what is to come in the opening even if you can’t reveal the whole problem just yet.
** Cut out anything that doesn’t move the story forward or reveal character.
** Be sure to clearly describe your characters so your reader can see what you see. A few concrete details are better than a lengthy description.
** Remember that action can usually reveal character better than a physical description. When the phone rings, does the character rush to answer it or does he roll his eyes and ignore it? Little actions can say a lot about a person.
** Did you set the scene so the reader knows where the action is taking place?
** Reveal setting through the character’s eyes and viewpoint (whoever’s POV you are writing in).
** Be sure that important events in the story are revealed in a scene. A scene means people in action. You don’t want to gloss over the good stuff by simply telling us about it. Conflict is the heart of a good story and scenes are the only way to elicit an emotional response from the reader.
** The characters should enter the scene with a goal, struggle for it, and then end up either achieving little or none of it. Otherwise, why should we keep reading?
** Save most of the backstory, exposition, and character thought for the “sequel”, which follows the scene.
** Are you going too easy on your characters? Make it difficult for them to get anything they want.
** Make sure each chapter ends with something to keep the reader turning the pages.
** The POV you chose should be clear and consistent throughout.
** With first person, try to sneak in some kind of physical description, though it can be tricky.
** If you chose Third Person POV, where you pick one character’s viewpoint, be sure you only show what this character sees, hears, feels, and knows.
** Multiple POV allows you to reveal action that doesn’t always take place within sight of the main character and enables the reader to experience the emotions of more than just one character. Be sure to make it clear when you are switching to another character’s POV, either by adding multiple spaces or starting a new chapter.
** Omniscient POV is when the writer sees and knows all and therefore can show the thoughts and feelings of all the characters. Be sure to be clear about whose consciousness you are in at any given time. Be wary of too much “head-hopping” when the POV changes too rapidly, which can be annoying and difficult to follow for the reader.
** With the Objective POV, you can only show what can be observed from the outside. Instead of she felt angry and bitter when her Cheetos got stolen, it would be she looked angry or she grabbed her Cheetos back and slammed the door . Objective POV is extremely limiting, but can be useful for stories in which revealing a lot of thought and emotion would give away the plot.
** Read dialogue out loud to make sure it sounds authentic and true to the character. Omit boring pleasantries and unnecessary chatter. Get to the good stuff, the conflict.
** Use said as your dialogue tag about 95% of the time, preferably before the character’s name. People rarely say things like said she in real life and words like grunted, hollered, and muttered can be distracting and unnecessary. Also, people can’t laugh and talk at the same time. Instead of she laughed, write she said, laughing.
** Be sure to use dialogue tags frequently enough so the reader is clear on who is talking.
Style and Language
** Limit adjectives – one is usually stronger than two or three. Sometimes none is the right number.
** Watch for adverbs, especially those ending in “ly”. She angrily and forcefully grabbed the umpire is not as strong as she grabbed the umpireor she grabbed the umpire with great force. Use adverbs sparsely.
**Choose a strong, specific noun or verb instead of several weaker ones. Consider the difference between the word ran and the words sprinted,dashed, darted, and fled. Make each word count.
** Active voice is usually best.  Watch for passive voice words like was,were, here, there, and that. There were two drunk guys building a pillow fort vs. Two drunk guys built a pillow fort.
** Keep an eye out for words that you tend to overuse. Do a search to find them and weed them out.
** Omit redundancies like screamed out loud or quickly dashed.
**Watch for “weasel” words that are unnecessary. These include words like about, actually, almost, basically, just, here, there, really, practically, simply, suddenly, utterly. Consider the difference between:When they finally arrived there, it was already too late. She had already gotten a tattoo of a unicorn vomiting a rainbow is not as good as When they arrived, it was too late. She had gotten the tattoo of a unicorn vomiting a rainbow.
** Avoid “filter” words that seek only to distance your reader from your character’s experiences. These include words like: see, hear, think, wonder, realize, watch, seem, feel or feel like, decide, sound or sound like. He felt hot and looked down. He realized his underwear was on fire.  Heat burned his face and he looked down. His underwear was on fire.
** Seek and destroy long passages of boring description.
** Don’t overuse the past perfect verb tense, as in would  or had. When writing a paragraph in this tense, begin in the past perfect : Right before his father had become a drag queen in Vegas, Robert would have long talks with him  when they would go to the mall to buy high heels, then switch to past tense – They mainly talked about makeup and glitter instead of continuing in the past perfect: They had talked mainly about makeup and glitter…
** Make each sentence as strong as possible, keeping in mind that the end is the most powerful part. “I’m leaving you for my chemistry professor,” he said as he put down his rapidly melting lab beaker is not as powerful as He put down his rapidly melting lab beaker and said, “I’m leaving you for my chemistry professor.”
**  Avoid overwriting. Trust that the reader is at least as intelligent as you are.  They will be able to figure out what you are trying to say without hitting them over the head with it.
** Reading out loud is the best way to hear the rhythm of the sentences.“The Phelps family sounded like bigoted idiots” might look okay but try saying it out loud. “The Phelps family sounded like ignorant bigots”sounds much better. At any rate, both sentences are true…
Grammar and Punctuation
** Carefully proofreading for typos and grammatical errors should usually be one of the final steps in revision. There’s no sense in spending a long time perfecting a paragraph only to cut the whole thing out later.
** Use a Comma:
– To separate items in a series: She gathered her baseball,her glove, and her dose of steroids.
– With a small conjunction, such as and, but, for, nor, yet, so, to connect two independent clauses, as in She liked the guy, but she kicked him in the head with her cleats.
– For introductory elements, such as Before joining the circus, he worked as a stock broker.
– With parentheticals (a parenthetical could be removed without changing the meaning of the sentence) He put on his floppy shoes, which were completely unnecessary, for his prostate exam.
– When both the city and the state name are mentioned together, it is considered a parenthetical element. We saw the Orioles kick some major Yankee posterior in Baltimore, Maryland, last summer.
** Use a Semicolon:
– To separate two main clauses that are not joined by a coordinating conjunction.  Those in glass houses who throw stones don’t need windows; those in stone houses who throw glass do need shoes.
– To separate main clauses joined by a conjunctive adverb, such ashowever, consequently, otherwise, moreover, nevertheless. Many people think it is necessary to go to college; however, it’s not so if your dream is work at Chuck E. Cheese.
** Use a Colon:
– For a summary or a series after a complete main clause: They were a ragtag team of misfits: a circus clown, a stock broker, an angry female baseball player, and a guy from Chuck E. Cheese.
** Use a Dash (–)
– For a short summary after a complete main clause: At the bottom of the backpack was a surprise—used chewing gum.
– In place of a pair of commas to set off words, phrases, or clauses that interrupt a sentence with additional–but not vital–information: Of all the well-known Muppets—Miss Piggy, Scooter, Rowlf, Fozzie—great as they were, Kermit made the most money.
Fine, Have It Your Own Way
This revision list was compiled from a bunch of different books and websites and I find it helpful for my revisions. If you’ve got a better way that works for you – go for it! Just make sure you rewrite and revise as many times as it takes to make your writing as good as it can be. Otherwise, brush up on your short order cook skills.

-Linda Fausnet


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You MUST Write Every Day! Unless You Can’t….



Most how-to books, blogs, and writer gurus tell you that you absolutely MUST write every single day or you’ll never amount to anything as a writer. After all, practice really does make perfect.

Yeah, well, there’s no such thing as perfect, no matter how much you practice. While I agree that the most efficient way to become a great writer is to write as much as possible and to get your work critiqued so you can figure out how to improve, sometimes a little thing called life gets in the way.

I do write every single workday and I write on as many nights and weekends as I can. I rarely have a problem getting motivated and I write even when I’m not motivated. I get up between 5am and 5:30 every day to ensure that I get, at the very least, one hour of writing in every single day.  One rule of mine is that I write for one hour Monday through Friday – pretty much no matter what. My other rule is that I never HAVE to write on evenings and weekends unless I want to. Well, the truth of the matter is, I almost ALWAYS want to, but stuff like homework and kids and dishes and laundry get in the way to the point where I will get overwhelmed quickly if I write every night instead of taking care of those other things.

I almost never have a problem writing. I have a problem STOPPING. The hour between 6:30am and 7:30am seems to be the fastest of the whole day. It’s almost painful for me when I have to stop doing what I love after only one hour so I can spend the next 8 hours doing someone else’s bidding at my day job.


I understand that not all writers feel this way. Many, many writers – GOOD writers – have trouble getting started or feeling motivated to write. This is normal and completely understandable. For sure, you will have to force yourself to write on a very regular basis if you want to have a chance at truly making it as a successful writer, but is not writing daily going to spell the end of your career before it begins?

Not necessarily.

There are two important factors that may determine how often you write:

How serious are you really about pursuing writing as a career?

How much time do you actually have available to write?

The answers for me are – I’m EXTREMELY serious and driven when it comes to my writing career and I don’t have a ton of time available, but I carve it out wherever and whenever I possibly can and this includes a firm daily writing schedule.

There are really a number of factors to consider when it comes to the time and energy that you choose to devote to writing. Do you want to self-publish and/or submit to agents as many books as you possibly can?  Or are you trying to finish one book just to see what happens? Are you writing a memoir for personal reasons – to tell your own story – but you don’t plan on making writing a career?  Are you independently wealthy or do you work a 40-hour work week? Are you single or are you married with three kids? Are you caring for an elderly parent or do you suffer from a disability that makes it more difficult for you to find the time and energy to write? Do you fit in three hours of television watching a day? Are you in school and studying for finals?

Each writer’s career trajectory is different and to make blanket statements that you MUST write every day or you’re a terrible writer and just don’t care about writing seems unfair to me.

Figure out what you really want to do and make a plan to do it. Life can legitimately get in the way sometimes, and it’s okay to give writing a break when you feel totally overwhelmed. If you’ve decided that you really want to write a book, all you have to do is just one thing.


In two months or two years – even in two decades. It’s all up to you.

- Linda Fausnet


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The Stages of Self-Publishing

Wannabe Pride welcomes guest blogger KENDALL BAILEY!

I was born and raised in northeastern Vermont. I now live in southwest Minnesota with his wife and son. I’d been interested in writing for a decade or so and finally took the leap (wrote my first novel) the beginning of this year. I’m enjoying my experience as an independent author and am currently working on the second draft of my second novel.

A self-published author is a small business owner, it’s true. Some of us will be non-profits, making church cookbooks or maybe a family history, but the rest of us want to sell our work to anyone who cares to read it. This post is geared toward the second group, though the non-profit folks could benefit from it too, I hope. As usual, I am going to use myself as an example throughout the piece.

I am a small business, manufacturing a product. The stages of writing a novel aren’t so different from the stages of a new product launch.

I start with R&D – plotting, researching, basically the knowledge phase, trying to figure out what I want the story to be. For example, with my first novel I knew I wanted to have a teenage boy living in a haunted hotel, and there had to be a girl. Not a lot of detail, just the plot in broad strokes.

Then comes the trial run, my first draft. I have the shell of the story with a few details sprinkled here and there. While writing a first draft I am learning what the story is. I think it’s common for these first two phases to overlap for many writers. For me they can overlap to the point of almost occurring in tandem. (My current book is happening this way. I decided one afternoon to write a YA novel from the POV of a 14 year old girl who is into nerd things. That’s not even a plot! I am a little over 10,000 words into the manuscript now and have a much better idea where I’m going.)

Phase three is product testing. Do you find yourself grinning like an idiot when you read your manuscript for the first time? I know I do! That first read is my favorite part of the writing process. It’s during the initial read-through that the story crystallizes in my mind; I can see what needs to go, change, or be added. Editing is the second part of the phase. Love it or hate it, it’s a necessity.

After editing I think very highly of my product, but what will others think? Let’s find out. I give my manuscript to four or five people to read, find mistakes, and get their opinion. Then more editing! Oh the joys of rereading my work five or six times, going blind during the predawn hours in an endless search for my shortcomings and oversights.

Phase five, mass production begins. Let’s launch this bitch! Remember all the hours you poured into your novel? They don’t mean Jack if you’re not going to make an effort to sell it.

Marketing a self-published novel can be a real pain in the ass, no two ways about it. I began by selling copies to family and friends. I have a hunch a great many authors begin their careers in the same fashion.

I’ve had the best luck selling books in person versus online. Aside from a few paperback orders when I first released it and a scattering of ebook sales, the internet hasn’t been the best marketplace for me. Part of the reason is I am asking $4.99 for my ebook and there are a ton of ebooks available from $2.99 – free. Why pay more, right? And what the hell is the matter with me asking almost double for my work?

The answer involves both strategy and not a small amount of ego. First, I refuse to devalue my work to compete with other self-published authors. The way I see it I am not in competition with only self-publishers, I am in competition with everyone. From Disney, to Random House, to Viking, to Comet Press, to Linda Fausnet herself, and whoever is reading this right now; we’re all competing for a share of the same book money. So I set my ebook price in a competitive range for the entire field of competition, not just the indie world.

Second, I am willing to work my butt off to sell my book (even at its seemingly elevated price) because that’s precisely what a traditional publisher would expect me to do. I need to be able to prove to a publisher or agent that my work can sell at an average retail price. If it won’t sell, then I need to either get better or find a new obsession. (Like that would be possible!)

My best sales day, by far, was a book signing I did in my old hometown. I’d ordered 60 copies specifically for the event and sold around 40 of them. Not to worry, there were people who couldn’t make it or completely forgot but still wanted a copy, so they are mostly gone now. The remainder will be put towards my newest venture.

The town I live in has a program for local authors that is run by the neighborhood fine arts council. For a percentage, the FAC will sell the author’s book in their gift shop. It’s a 75/25 split, with the 75% going to the author.  I’m excited for the opportunity.

I stated above that the internet hasn’t been a productive marketplace for me. While that’s true it has been the best sales tool I have at my disposal. In particular, I’ve used Facebook to sell my book. I take a personal approach, send someone I know but don’t see often a message like, “Hey! Been a long time. How’s things?” They usually respond and ask how I’m doing, and ker-boom; I mention that I just wrote a book.

That brings me to my last point. I think it’s important to have these kinds of conversations. They’re good for building a strong and loyal customer base. I talk to as many people as I can about my book with multiple hopes. One is that they’ll buy a copy, obviously. But if the book doesn’t sound like something they’d enjoy, maybe they’ll tell a friend who’s into creepy novels. My plan is to bring a pack of rabidly loyal fans to whichever agent or publisher agrees to take me on as an author.

Kendall Bailey

My Facebook page
Twitter – @KBaileyWriter
Goodreads Author Page


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Write It Like Your Mama Won’t Read It


There is an author out there in the self-publishing world who is known only as the Tattooed Writer. In fact, this gentleman has four different pseudonyms and even his family members don’t know them.

I’m starting to see the wisdom of this.

There is a sense of freedom in being able to write whatever the hell you want without thinking of your mother – or anybody else you know – reading it. This is especially true of sex scenes. Though my books are far from erotica, I love to read and write romance and for me, a romance book with no sex is just boring. Romance novels run the gamut from being totally chaste (Christian romance, Amish romance, for example) to hardcore BDSM and erotica. My taste is somewhere in between. Erotica is far too graphic for my tastes and I can’t stand BDSM (it’s fine if that’s your thing, but ordering somebody around in the bedroom is about as unromantic as I could possibly imagine) but I love a good sensual scene in the middle of a sweet, romantic story.

Like all wonderful, supportive parents, my mother reads every word I write (including this blog. Hi Mom!!) but she confesses to skipping over the sex scenes. This is probably wise. Therefore, I suppose, that means I could write a sex scene a steamy as I please since she’s not going to read it anyway!

It’s more than just my mom, though. I need to come to grips with the fact that really nothing I write is targeted in any way toward my family and friends. My father reads a lot of nonfiction, including things like math books. We are very, very different in that regard, my dad and I…. My mother loves mysteries, specifically “cozy” mysteries, and rarely reads novels save for the ones her daughter writes. My sister enjoys nonfiction on various topics, as well as science fiction. Again, not a novel reader, and she is far too practical for silly romance stories (though she is really too kind to say this to me…) My best girlfriend tends to read much more serious, hard-hitting literature. DEFINITELY not at all what I write. And my husband, my best friend, and favorite person in the whole wide world? He hates to read and has never read any of my books in its entirety.

The fact is, there *is* an audience out there for the unabashedly romantic and fantasy-escapism type of books that I love to read and write. Fortunately for me, romance novels tend to sell quite well. I just need to keep in mind as I’m writing that I need to write for my target audience and for myself. I write what I truly love, and I think you can actually feel that passion (and not just the sex stuff!) rising from the pages. When I’m truly “in the zone”, I live in my story practically 24 hours a day. Right now I’m writing a Gettysburg ghost love story, and I’m listening to Civil War music, reading books on Gettysburg, and listening to battle-related audio books in the car. My head is constantly spinning with character ideas, dialogue snippets, and plot twists. If I’m conscious, you can bet I’m thinking of my novel and the special people who populate it. I don’t have any desire to curtail the raw passion and emotion I feel when truly living in the story with my characters.

Though I am acutely aware that the subject matter and style in which I write likely holds little appeal to any of my family and friends, I am incredibly grateful for their unconditional support. I would feel hurt and slighted if they *didn’t* read my stuff (hear that, husband? Of course he doesn’t. He doesn’t read my blog, either. He is still very supportive though, including promoting my extremely gay debut novel to his friends. Now THAT’S love…)

I’m certainly not the only writer who has to worry about what loved ones might think of her work. Can you imagine what it’s like to be E.L. James’ mama? Fifty Shades of Red is more like it…

Just like the old bumper sticker says – Ride It Like You Stole It — I implore my fellow writers to write with all their passion, whatever that passion might entail. Write for your target audience and for nobody else. Write It Like Your Mama Won’t Read It, but like hundreds of readers will.

Family and friends be forewarned – I shall not censor myself! Read my novels at your own risk.

That being said, I do want to send out heartfelt thanks to my wonderful family and friends who read my books without fail and with unfettered enthusiasm, regardless of the weird, silly, and/or sexual plot.

Your support means more than you know.

- Linda Fausnet



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Word Choice And Why It Matters

Wannabe Pride welcomes guest blogger Jocelyn Crawley! Jocelyn is a 30-year-old writer. When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading subversive literature and drinking coffee. In addition to winning several regional and school-sponsored writing competitions, she self-published her first novel, Erudition, in April of 2007. She is currently completing the manuscript for her second novel.  

There’s something pleasantly unsettling about stumbling upon unfamiliar words when you read a web article or literary work–for me, anyway. Each time I run into a term that’s never crossed my path before, a somewhat disconcerting curiosity dominates my psyche until the word is thoroughly defined and understood.

Although you may have found the previous paragraph interesting, you could also be asking yourself an important question: “How is any of that relevant to you as a writer?” I love these types of pragmatic interrogations, so I’ll try to provide an advantageous answer in the following sentence as well as the paragraphs to come. Learning new words is important and ideal for everyone–and perhaps writers especially. This is the case for several reasons, including the fact that writers have a tendency to utilize the same words over and over again. Once you develop a loyal fan base that is eager to read your new works and make note of your intellectual progress, they will likely be disappointed to find the same $50 words emerging over and over again. I certainly would be. In fact, I find myself irritated with my own writing when the same damn words (generally precipitate and indigenous) resurface. The repetition and redundancy engender an ineffable irritation that is perhaps best described in terms of flabbergasted shame. I know there are other words out there, and yet my feeble mind keeps wandering back to the terms with which it is most familiar.

As a self-published author, I am aware of some of the challenges that people who don’t take the traditional publishing route can experience as they attempt to build their brand. In my humble opinion, one of the greatest challenges is the attempt to prove that one’s work is credible. And while there are a plethora of things self-published writers can do in order to build and increase credibility, using learned language is oftentimes particularly effective. In addition to showing your readership and prospective publishers that you take the time to find the most apposite words to express a character’s thought or the color of the carpet, building your vocabulary can preclude you from one of the most disappointing and mentally stagnating experiences known to the writer: boredom with one’s work.

When I decided to publish my first novel (Erudition), I was unaware that the title would be a relatively obscure term that many would have to look up in order to grasp the overarching theme of the book. Yet as I began to synthesize the plot and give the characters shape and substance, I realized that this title was arrantly appropriate for many reasons. First, the two main characters of the novel were both very well-read individuals who had extensive knowledge about the literary world. In fact, one of the two is an English professor. And in addition to giving the book the type of learned structure and stature that comes from placing two exceptionally intelligent people on center stage, the acquisition of knowledge (both abstract and experiential) is a prevalent motif within the work. Clearly then, Erudition was an ideal title. It was only after I published the work that I realized the somewhat academic term I’d chosen for the title had a specific, dualistic power. Although some people found the title and scholarly words within the book stimulating and intellectually uplifting, others deemed it all a bit “too much.”  Irrespective of whether the language was deemed appropriate or over the top, the use of scholarly language generated substantive buzz.

These days, I’m thrilled to be running a blog that is dedicated to helping people (the public generally and writers specifically) increase their vocabularies in order to write more effectively. Lately, words such as “gimlet” and “anhedonic” have been subjected to a careful overview as I seek to provide my readers with a thorough explanation of their meaning and implications. Much care is given to seeking out all of the synonyms and antonyms that expand the reader’s understanding of the term’s signification so people will know how to effectively contextualize the words they opt to use. I have always felt-and still believe-that words have power. And when we use them with strategic precision, they acquire an insuperable efficacy that enables our readers to gain a better understanding of the concepts we’re attempting to convey.

Several days ago, I had a brief yet meaningful conversation with a gentleman on the train regarding how sad it is to see so many people embracing a monocultural mode of being and knowing when the 21st century has given rise to such a pleasantly postmodern multiculturalism that makes it safe and common for people of all backgrounds to interact with one another in equitable ways. In describing the modality of individuals who have chosen the former (and very limited) form of existence, I used the term myopic. But then-in recognizing that this word was not fully accurate in articulating the idea I was attempting to express-I stated that the term wasn’t quite right. Now, in reflecting on the actions and attitudes of people who prefer to surround themselves with individuals who are exactly like them rather than embracing the beauty indigenous to diversity and pluralism, I realize that the more fitting term would have been parochial. Indeed, these types of individuals have a narrow view of both external reality and their own subjective existence. And in being able to prove the aforementioned term out of my word bank, I’m much more effective in describing the paucity of their worldview.

Whether you’re simply seeking to prevent yourself from growing bored when drafting your next manuscript or want prospective publishers to know you mean business, utilizing a learned vocabulary is oftentimes the best way to accomplish your objective. If you’re ever interested in seeing old words used in new ways or simply want to add new terms to your already impressive word bank, be sure to visit my blog at www.wordhelps.com. Can’t wait to see you.


Jocelyn Crawley


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